The Science of Kindness - Bethan Taylor-Swaine, wellbeing specialist

This year the theme of Mental Health Awareness Week is KINDNESS. There are lots of ways to define what it means to be kind, but at its core kindness is a gesture motivated by genuine, warm feelings for others. Kindness isn’t simply an emotion, it’s defined by our actions.

Kindness can have real benefits for our mental health and wellbeing. Feeling good after doing something kind isn’t just psychological, it’s chemical.

Think about the last time you did something kind for someone. It doesn’t have to be anything big, maybe you made coffee for your partner or went out of your way to let someone pass safely when you’re out for a walk. How did you feel immediately afterwards? A little warm and fuzzy? Happy? Calm? Kindness can have real benefits for our mental health and wellbeing. According to a survey from the Mental Health Foundation and YouGov (2020) 63% of UK adults agreed that being kind to other people had a positive impact on their mental health and various studies have found that being kind can have an impact on happiness, wellbeing and satisfaction with life in people of all ages. It doesn’t matter if our acts of kindness are big or small or if the recipient is close to us or not, in fact even just remembering kind things we’ve done in the past can impact on our wellbeing. How cool is that?!

“We all seek a path to happiness. Practicing kindness towards others is one we know works.”

— Dr Waguih William IsHak, professor of psychiatry, Cedars-Sinai, 2019

The Brain Chemistry of Kindness

When we’re kind our brains release hormones that can help support our physical and mental wellbeing. In short, practicing kindness helps you feel good, and we could do with feeling a little better in these difficult times.

OXYTOCIN - sometimes known as the “love hormone” oxytocin is secreted by the hypothalamus and it helps us feel close to others and affectionate. It promotes empathy and has a relaxing effect on the body which can help us manage stress. Typically released when we’re physically intimate, research shared by Dr IsHak, professor of psychiatry at Cedars-Sinai, suggests that it’s also released when we perform acts of kindness (2019).

DOPAMINE - is a motivating hormone that is responsible for feelings of pleasure, desire, and motivation to learn new things. According to research from the University of Oregon and the National Institude of Health (2007) when you’re kind the pleasure and reward centre of the brain lights up as if you’re the recipient of the good deed, not the giver. It’s a phenomenon referred to as ‘the helpers high’ and explains why doing good things feels really good!

SERATONIN - is an important neurotransmitter which helps regulate mood and social behaviour, appetite and digestion, along with sleep and memory.

CORTISOL - Is your body’s main stress hormone. Produced by your adrenal glads (triangle-shaped organs at the top of your kidneys) it works with certain parts of your brain to control your mood, motivation and fear. Research by McCraty et al (1998) suggests that being kind can help manage your cortisol levels and reported that perpetually kind people have 23% less cortisol in comparison to the broader population.

The Reward For Kindness

Practicing kindness impacts our brain chemistry and that in turn that has a positive impact on our physical and mental wellbeing.

“The rewards of acts of kindness are many. They help us feel better and they help those who receive them. We’re building better selves and better communities at the same time.”

— Dr Waguih William IsHak, professor of psychiatry, Cedars-Siani (2019)

ENERGY - according to research from the Greater Good Science Centre at UC Berkeley ‘around half of participants in one study reported that they felt stronger and more energetic after helping others’ (Carter, 2010)

CALM - the Greater Good Science Centre also suggests that people who practice kindness ‘reported feeling calmer and less depressed, with increase feelings of self-worth’ (Carter, 2010)

HAPPINESS - research from Harvard Business School (2010) suggests that globally people who were altruistic reported feeling happier overall in comparison to the general population.

It might seem self-serving to suggest that we should be kind because it can improve our own sense of wellbeing and mental health, but as Dr IsHak (2019) comments “the rewards of acts of kindness are many”, and by being kind we’re contributing to making our communities better as well as benefitting in our own lives.

Practicing Kindness

Hands up if you’re not always very kind….yeah me too. It’s not something I’m proud of, but we all have our moments, it’s a normal part of the human experience. However, one of the coolest things about kindness is that the more you practice being kind the kinder you become. So if it doesn’t always come naturally to you, you can actually teach yourself to be kinder.

“It’s kind of like weight training, we found that people can actually build up their compassion ‘muscle’ and respond to others’ suffering with care and a desire to help.”

— Helen Weng, University of Wisconsin (2013)

Practicing kindness doesn’t have to be complicated and once it’s become a habit you’ll find that you’re being kind more than you might realise. Of course building new habits isn’t always easy, it takes time and focus, but there are a few little things to do to get started;

START SMALL - in the words of Aesop “no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted” - acts of kindness don’t have to be big or flashy, simply holding a door open, fetching your neighbours mail or smiling at someone can have a positive effect on both your wellbeing and those around you.

BE MINDFUL - mindfulness has become a buzz word in. the wellbeing world, but mindfully including acts of kindness and documenting your gratitude for the acts given and received can have a positive impact on your wellbeing and mental health.

MAKE IT A HABIT - biochemically you can’t live on the three to four minute oxytocin boost that you get from a single act of kindness, you need to repeat acts of kindness to see the benefits. Work acts of kindness into your routine, for example by volunteering regularly.

START WITH YOURSELF - have you ever noticed how much better you treat other people when you’ve looked after yourself? It’s the old adage that 'you can’t pour from an empty cup’ so start your kindness practice at home and be kind to yourself. Work on how you talk to yourself and treat yourself with compassion when you misstep.

LEAD WITH COMPASSION - compassion is at the heart of kindness, you don’t know what’s going on with someone else so if you don’t get the reaction you wanted/think you deserve let it slide - when we’re compassionate we recognise the shared human condition and we meet it with kindness.

Kindness is so powerful. Simple acts can not only improve the lives of other people, but they’re just as likely to lead to improvements in your own. Kindness is amazing!