2020 Reflections

2020 has been a ride hasn’t it?!

Last night I watched Death to 2020 on Netflix (which I highly recommend) and it reminded me just how much has happened this year. From fires ravaging Australia, to Britain leaving the EU, Black Lives Matter, turbulent US politics and, of course, a global pandemic, the news has been relentless. I’m sure there are a whole host of events I’ve missed, but even as a started for 10 that is a lot for society to deal with, and it’s no wonder many of us have spent the last 12 months feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

Personally COVID-19 has has a particularly significant impact on my day to day life. Living in London where there are some of the highest infection rates means that much of this year has been spent yo-yoing in and out of lockdowns, adapting to social distancing regulations and trying to navigate life through some very unexpected and challenging times.

Bethan Taylor-Swaine 2020 End of Year Reflections

It’s fair to say that as a result, 2020 was nothing like I thought it would be.

While I’ve heard a few people say that they feel like they’ve lost a year to social distancing and lockdowns, I don’t think that’s true. If anything 2020 has been an amazing opportunity despite its challenges.

time to slow down

2020 helped me to realise quite how overwhelmed and burnt out I was. Lockdowns literally forced me to stop, and while the uncertainty that came with them was scary (my husband lost his job at the start of the first UK lockdown and my PhD research was severely disrupted), it was also an opportunity to take some space and figure some things out. I don’t think that opportunity would’ve been there if 2020 was a ‘normal’ year.

creativity

Once I slowed down and had some space, I found that my mind was sharper and I was more creative than I’d been in a really long time. This boost of creativity pushed me to found Low Key Audio and to get involved in an an amazing innovation project with Work Inspired. I know I wouldn’t have had the brain space to do this if 2020 was a ‘normal’ year.

patience

2020 pushed us all out of our comfort zones, and I found that my patience was tested like never before. I won’t lie, there were times when I was so frustrated by all the restrictions put in place to keep us safe, by not being able to travel like I’d planned to, and by not being able to see the people I love or do the things I enjoy. I’ve fully supported all the interventions that’ve been put in place (and sometimes thought there should’ve been more), but it didn’t stop me mourning ‘normal life’. The discipline to accept the situation and put the needs of society above my own has been an amazing lesson in not just accepting where I’m at, but flourishing in it.

community

This year I feel more connected to my community than ever as we’ve all pulled together to look after each other. Acts of service have been at the heart of this, and little things like delivering brownies to friends and local key workers, being able to pass on something we weren’t using to a neighbour, dropping off supplies for people who are isolating and even just taking the time to have a chat about nothing in particular over WhatsApp (my neighbourhood group is the best!) have been really uplifting during some really difficult times.

finding rhythm

Up until earlier this year I was too overwhelmed and burnt out to really establish any rhythm in my life, something that only compounded that sense of overwhelm and burn out! 2020 gave me space to recover from the stress I’d been under for quite literally years so that I was able to start building habits that served me better and helped me have the energy for life. Because of everything that has happened I am now in a space where I am getting more sleep, have discovered practices like cold water swimming that really boost my energy and generally feel like I’m in an energetic and productive place.

2020 broke the cycle

None of this means that there weren’t times that 2020 wasn’t utterly overwhelming and stressful. There really really were and these opportunities didn’t blossom overnight - I’m working with 12 months of growth here! However, unless we’d had an exceptional year I’m not sure I’d have had the opportunity to break the cycle and rebuild life in a way that serves me better. It was like someone pressed an emergency stop, and while the shuddering halt was discombobulating, the break was what I needed to get my life in order.

Looking forward

Who knows what 2021 will bring. After the shock and awe of 2020 I’m reluctant too make too many plans or promises to myself, but I do know I’m excited to see where the year will take me and what I’ll learn.