Recently someone asked me how they could change another person’s outlook. The simple answer is you can’t. What you can do is keep doing your thing.

You all know I am passionate about demystifying the social structures that mean some groups are more privileged than others, and encouraging people to use that insight to disrupt and tear down the walls. Not everyone agrees with my perspective or wants to hear what I have to say. It makes some people uncomfortable to acknowledge their privilege, and often our first reaction to discomfort is to get defensive. But we have to keep doing our thing, it might be painfully slow, it’ll definitely be frustrating as hell, but if we keep the issues on radar people start to reflect and maybe they get curious, and maybe (just maybe) they’ll change their perspective.

The important thing however is that we look after our energy through all this. Change takes energy. It’s stressful. The mental burden is high and if you’re exhausting yourself pushing against things that aren’t budging you’re not going to have the energy to show up when it matters.

YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR OWN OXYGEN MASK ON FIRST.

Know When To Step Back From A Conversation

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve got way too deep into a conversation that’s obviously going nowhere. You know how those conversations go, you know whoever you’re talking to won’t budge but you keep pushing, convinced that the next ‘explanation’ will be the one that changes their mind. IT IS SO STRESSFUL. Clammy palms, increasing heart rate, shallow breathing, my body knows I need to get out, but I just can’t resist taking things just a bit further.

IT IS EXHAUSTING.

It’s hard to pinpoint the moment to stop, but learning to pay attention to my gut (my inside view) means I’m now more likely to step back before things get out of hand. It’s challenging, but when I step back from conversations that are going nowhere I’m making sure I’ve got the energy to bring my A-game when it matters.

Find A Community That Has Your Back

Connection is a basic human need and sharing is one of the most fundamental ways we can manage stress. Having a community to turn to and people to talk to can help manage stress and energise us even though the toughest times. Advocacy is hard work and you can’t go it alone, seeking out people who share your values and passions is so important because there will be times you need to offload in a safe space, times you need inspiration and motivation and times when it’s just nice to share thoughts and ideas without judgement.

Take Time Out

Sometimes I feel like i need (want?) to be ON all the time, especially when I’m passionate about an issue. I’m learning that this is false economy. Humans only have so much capacity for stress, we need time to rest if we want to show up and we are not failing if we take time out. When it starts to feel like things are getting a bit much I am working on taking a step back from conversations, agreeing to disagree calmly before I get stressed out. I’m also learning to transition away from that stressful scenario, to switch off my phone, go for a walk and breath - managing my stress means I’m managing my energy.

Have you downloaded my FREE workbook ‘A Week of Gratitude’ yet?